As I might have posted before, Mom (she who shall not be crossed) has gone to the Baai to visit my brother and his family. From the sounds of things they are spending most of their time eating! be that as it may, it's much warmer down at the coast, so she's really having a good break.
Ribs on the braai
View From the restaurant where they had carvery, on Sunday, at ZAR65 per head!!
This is a true story. Please forward when you finish reading! A little background:
Woolworths, if you don't know already, is a very expensive clothing and supermarket outlet (they sell a typical R50 T-shirt for R150). My daughter and I had just finished lunch at a Woolies Cafe in Hyde Park, Johannesburg . Because both of us are such biscuit lovers, we decided to try the 'Woolies Cookie'. It was so excellent that I asked if they would give me the recipe. The waitress said with a small frown, 'I'm afraid not, but you can buy the recipe.'
I asked how much, and she responded; 'Only two fifty - it's a great deal' I agreed to that, and told her to add it to my bill.
Thirty days later, I got my Visa statement, and the Woolworths charge was R485. I looked at it again, and I remembered I had only spent R49.95 for two sandwiches and about R120 for a scarf. At the bottom of the statement, it said, 'Cookie Recipe - R250.00'. That was outrageous!
I called Woolworths Accounting Department and told them the waitress had said it was 'two fifty', which clearly does not mean 'two hundred and fifty Rands' by any reasonable nterpretation of the phrase. Woolworths refused to budge. They would not refund my money because according to them; 'What the waitress told you is not our problem. You have already seen the recipe. We absolutely will not refund your money. I explained to the Accounting Department lady the criminal statutes which govern fraud in the state of Gauteng . I threatened to report them to the Better Business Bureau and The Attorney General's office. I was basically told: Do what you want. Don't bother thinking of how you can get even, and don't bother trying to get any of your money back'
I said, OK, you've got my R250, and now I'm going to have R250 worth of fun. I told her that I was going to see to it that every cookie lover in the world with an e-mail account gets a R250 cookie recipe from Neiman-Marcus for free. She replied, 'I wish you wouldn't do that.' I said, 'Well, perhaps you should have thought of that before you RIPPED ME OFF!' and slammed down the phone.
So here it is! Please pass it on to everyone you can possibly think of. I paid R250 for this, and I don't want Woolworths to EVER make another cent from this recipe!
WOOLIES COOKIES (Recipe may be halved as this makes heaps)
2 (500 ml) cups butter
680 g chocolate chips
4 (1000 ml) cups flour
2 (500 ml) cups brown sugar
2 tsp. (10 ml) Bicarbonate of soda
1 tsp. (5 ml) salt
2 (500 ml) cups sugar
500 g Grated Cadbury chocolate
5 (1250 ml) cups blended oatmeal
4 eggs
2 tsp. (10 ml) baking powder
2 tsp. (10 ml) vanilla
3 cups (375 ml) chopped nuts (optional)
Measure oatmeal, and blend in a blender to a fine powder. Cream the butter and both sugars. Add eggs and vanilla, mix together with flour, oatmeal, salt, baking powder, and bicarbonate of soda. Add chocolate chips, grated Chocolate and nuts. Roll into balls, and place two inches apart on a cookie sheet. Bake for 10 minutes at 180 C.
The above quantities make 112 cookies. Enjoy!
PLEASE KEEP THE RECIPE AND SEND IT TO EVERY PERSON YOU KNOW WHO HAS AN
E-MAIL ADDRESS!
This is not a joke-it's a true story.
Now, I don't know if it's true or not, but it makes damn fine cookies, so go ahead and try it!
Salagatle!
What the drinks our dates choose really mean...
Women
Drink : Beer
Personality : Casual, low-maintenance; down to earth.
Approach : Challenge her to a game of pool.
Drink : Blender drinks with umbrella
Personality : Flaky, annoying, ditzy, and a pain in the ass.
Approach : Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.
Drink : Mixed drinks or spirits - no umbrellas
Personality : Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants.
Approach : If she wants you, she’ll send YOU a drink.
Drink : Wine - (good bottled not 4 liter cask)
Personality : Conservative and classy, sophisticated.
Approach : Try and weave Paris and literature into the conversation.
Drink : Barcardi Breezer - Hooch
Personality : Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated, actually has absolutely no clue.
Approach : Make her feel smarter than she is, and you’re in.
Drink : Shots
Personality : Hanging with frat-boy pals or looking to get drunk...and naked.
Approach : Easiest hit in the joint. Nothing to do but wait...
Then there is the MALE drink analysis:
The deal with guys is as always, very simple and clear cut:
Cheap Domestic Beer :
He’s poor and wants to get laid.
Premium Local Beer :
He likes good beer and wants to get laid.
Imported Beer :
He likes expensive beer and wants to get laid.
Wine :
He’s hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image and help him get laid.
Whiskey :
He doesn’t give two shits about anything and will hit anyone who will get in his way of getting laid.
Tequila :
Piss off, all you wankers, I’m gonna go shag something with a pulse.
Barcardi Breezer-Hooch :
He’s gay.
Salagatle!
With thanks to my two friends and fellow bloggers, find links to their blogs in the links list on the left of this page.
Fishman and DMDad
This is the Jackson 5 - latest picture of them together!
Salagatle!
have become the laziest sods on www. I mean really, a blog every 3 - 4 weeks, months in some cases is just not good enough. Apart from the fact that we keep going back to their blogs, only to find fuckall has changed - again - it's a damn shame and a waste of time.
So, I'm looking for a weekly award to give them.
I used to do something similar some time ago - I think it had something to do with dirty toilet seats.
Any ideas?
Salagatle!
I read with interest in this weekend's Sunday Times:-
There has been a lot of comment / complaint about the blowing of the vuvuzela's (LIU) at the soccer games, here in South Africa. This week there was another response from an African reader / sports follower / supporter......
"It's in out culture" he said, and went on with a long explanation of this and other forms of celebration ad nauseum....
Really? Something which has been introduced to the world, and South Africa in the past, what, 5 years? is now part of the African culture? Interesting.
So then, can we assume, in so far as it's the norm, and practiced by a very large percentage of our black population that the following things are also part of the African Culture:-
Rape - both female and children
Murder - especially of defenseless victims like the elderly, women, children
Theft - across the spectrum from cell phones to cars
Corruption - across the spectrum.
Lets see:-
Rape :- The current president was accused of rape. Ok, he was found not guilty, but under questionable circumstances.
Murder :- The current regime supported / supports Robert Mugabe, he of Zimbabwe fame, even though it is proven he has been directly involved in the murder of thousands of his own people, starting with the massacre in Matabeleland shortly after he came to power.
Theft :- this is so common that these days if you are unable to identify the person responsible for the deed, the SAPS don't even want to open a docket - although for insurance purposes you must force them to
Corruption :- The current President was accused of corruption. He got off, probably due to a corruption of the relevany players. Most of the current MP's have been responsible for corrupt activities in one form or another, the "travel gate" scandal, allocating tenders to family and friends...
Yup, I think the above can be regarded as part of the African culture, so should in fact be removed from the books where they are listed as crimes. I mean, it cannot be a crime if it's in your culture.
What do you think?
Salagatle!
So, after I threw my toys out of the bath, and demanded a written apology, I got this...... Bastards! Only proving what I have said before - the ignoramus incompetent previously disadvantaged morons answering the phones at the call center / help desk are supported by equally ignoramus incompetent previously disadvantaged morons who masquerade as Managers.
May the higher power help us.....
Salagatle!
I have added a link to another blog of mine where I post all the screen prints of good hands I have got playing poker - or good hands that have beaten mine. Obviously of no interest to anyone who doesn't appreciate the game, or understand it.
Let me know what you think.
Salagatle!
So, last weekend ( a week ago) was another rather painful one. My external swollen vein (external haemorrhoid) had reoccurred, and I spent Saturday and mainly Sunday in serious discomfort.
Monday morning, off to the surgeon, and he admitted me to hospital again.
However, before he did, they called my medical aid, to get a admission code (i.e. authorization for hospitalization so they will pick up the costs). It was denied!! HUH? 7 weeks ago I had the same op, and it was approved no problem. Now it's declined as it's not on the authorized operations list? What? Do me a fucking favour and get upto speed with life u fucking morons!! Well, that's what I told the doos on the phone.
No problem, I tell the doctor he's still doing the operation - I'll pay for it. So I get admitted as a private patient, have to fork out ZAR6k upfront for hospitalization.
On Wednesday I went back to get a sick note, and pay the surgeon. Just waiting for the anaesthetists bill now.
OK, so I'm back home, and start to do the first email. I copy everyone and his mother, but most importantly the two guys who represent us on the board of trustees.
My email:-
About two months ago I had to be booked into hospital for an operation. I was given authorisation, and had the op. Yesterday I had to have the same operation again. When we called for authorisation, it was declined as this is not covered by the medical aid. ?!?!?!?
I have no idea what is going on here, suffice to say that it would seem you have absolutely no idea what you are doing with regards administering this medical aid.
I paid for the hospital (R6000.00) deposit myself, and have told the surgeon, anesthetist, and hospital to send me their bills as I will pay for this, but will not let it rest here.
Last time I raised an issue I got a call from someone who "explained' to me how this medical aid works. Now I expect someone to call me, to make an appointment to come and see me, so we can sort this out. As far as I am concerned, ever since Discovery took over the administration of the xxx medical Aid, it has been a total mess. No surprises then that all of the medical service providers I was in contact with yesterday said they were not surprised with the declined service from you.
Their response:-
Thank you for your recent contact with Discovery.
Hospital approval
We approved the same procedure in April 2009, according to our clinical protocols, the time period between the first procedure and the second procedure is very short. Please ask your Dr to send us a motivation before we approve the second procedure.
"according to our clinical protocols".... what the fuck?? Clinical protocols - who the fuck cares about that? You think my piles have read your protocols you stupid dumb fucks?
So, my response to theirs:-
The motivation is a recurrence of an external Haemorrhoid's, which left me in incredible pain for the whole weekend, till I could see him on Monday, to have it cut!!!
What do you think? His office phoned you just for fun? Do you really think this is how our professionals operate? Just because Discovery Medical Aid administrators are devious?, ignorant?, does not mean our doctors , or us patients are!!!!!
And anyway, the response on the phone was not - please motivate - it was - "This procedure is not covered"! So, someone is speaking shit here, and it's not the doctors.
Is the procedure covered or not? That is the question, and the answer is simple - YES / NO.....
And finally, this email from them today, after I had a phone call from someone on Friday also saying much the same, but who I abused verbally to no end. In fact, I'm sure they had to go for treatment after they had called me. The down side of all this is the fact that unlike other service providers who I can choose to either stay with, or not, I have no choice here, it's the employers choice of service provider. What I can tell you is that should my financial situation improve, I will take out my own medical aid cover, and just ignore the fact that my employer has one for me anyway....
Their final response:-
Thank you for your recent contact with Discovery.
Hospital approval
Please accept our sincere apologies for any inconvenience this might have caused you.
Our medical review team has approved your procedure; please send your accounts to us so we can process it.
They did not agree to pay for the credit card charges, but then I didn't really expect they would. But one thing is for certain, I'm going to fuck with their brains at every opportunity from now on . And if I have to call them, I will insist on talking to anyone above the call desk level, as I am now convinced they employ previously disadvantaged, uneducated imbeciles in that position.
It's really such a pain in the arse......
Salagatle!
And to think someone thought they could submit this expense as customer entertainment???
Driving to work one morning in the foggenmist......
And we wonder why our road flood when it rains? Check out the litter in this drain? And to top it off, when - WHEN - the council wekkers do come around to sweep the roadsides, they sweep all the crap INTO THE GUTTER!!!!
Salagatle!
So he's dead. So?
I'll tell you so what? Farah Fawcett also passed away on the same night. In fact, she died before Micheal did.
And when she arrived at the pearly gates, St. Peter offered her one wish. She asked "Can you make the children be safe?"... So he took out Micheal Jackson!
His body is going to be recycled - made into lego blocks, so little boys can play with him for a change.
Either that, or plastic shopping bags. That whet he's plastic, white, and still dangerous to children!
And anyway, it's not confirmed he died of a heart attack - in fact he was found in the children's ward where it is suspected he had a stroke......
Hey, it's all light hearted stuff, and surprising how fast all this shit came out on sms. I enjoyed his music, and liked his videos, when he was much younger - and sane. of late however, I have no love lost for him. Not that anything was ever proven re the alleged child abuse / molestation - but where there is smoke.....
Micheal - the way I remember him - probably at his best!
The Charlies Angels eternal beauty queen!
Anyway, to both Micheal and Farah - Rest in peace. You gave us many years of entertainment, and for this we are grateful.
Salagatle!
my last post. It's not due to lack of stuff to chat about, but rather that I had to have another op on Monday past.... Geezzzz.....
This is a pain in the arse!
Anyway, it also meant I got a week off work, which is only a good thing. On the home front, things are ok. Kids have finally finished with exams, and are on vacation (again?). The Princess is hard at work, as usual. The Toyota is playing up - not sure what;s wrong, other than the oil light kept coming on - and even after I checked the oil, and topped it up.... But it seems to have gone off for now so we will wait and see. it will, however, soon have to be overhauled. Engine is burning oil....
Winter is definitely here now. - Man I just can't ge6t used to cold weather - but then it's only for a short while. Used the underfloor heating for a week, then turned it off. a) It warmed up outside, b) It uses ZAR100 a day !!!
The bike is still broken - am I ever going to get my hands on ZAR 10k to fix it?
GMan's car is still heavy on fuel, not sure if it's the norm, but he's getting about 8 - 9 km / lt. LuckyL's bike is (touch wood) still going well. And he managed to blow the front wheel on the Kazuma, so ZAR 100 for a new tube. But we fitted it ourselves, so probably saved a few bucks there anyway. And the Princess's new car is, well, new. It's a great car, and fun to drive.
Oh, they broke into, and tried to steal the Queens (that's mom-in-law for those of you who have forgotten) whilst she was visiting at her other daughters place. Didn't steal anything (she never leaves anything in the car) but did manage to break the lock in the trunk, so she will hjave to have that replaced.
Finances are still dire - in fact - I'm thinking of selling some liters of blood soon..... no use offering my kidney, only got one!!
Have managed to get rid of 2 trailer loads of "stuff" - things that have been in storage for longer than I care to remember - and donated them to a worthy cause. This included a lot of kitchen ware, inherited from Mr. Van 7 years ago, my whole collection of neck ties (about 200 in total), a broken fridge (needs regassing, but leaks out in a few weeks) a microwave oven ( can't remember what was wrong with it), a TV box full of soft toys (geezz... where did all thiscrap come from), some odds and ends for which I a) have no use, b) have no space in my bar for, c) have no idea what they are for.... Some old lamps (bedside and office/desk) old telephones (Telkom), light fittings (external), kids toys (only those still useable)....
Also, a bunch of wallets (old, new, used...), reading glasses ( about 6 pairs), glass cases ( about 12 off).... There is still a broken? tumble dryer in the garage, that can go next week. A box (big) full of Living and Loving magazines ( 20 years old), some odd tools ( where did I get all this crap from?).
On the work front, things are still slow, and quiet. No way I am making target this half, so no commissions either. There are still issues with the processes internally, and frustrrations with same, and with management who are really starting to piss me off. One thing is for sure, if these clowns decide to do some retrenching, they better get rid of the international assignees first, or else there will be hell to play......
More to follow - I need a smoke.
Salagatle!
