So, further to my incarceration:-
The first "holding cell" was a 2.5m x 2.5m cell, in the middle of the police building. It had a toilet of sorts in one corner, as running tap on a seriously diseased basin in another. No light, and an excuse for a mattress (about 25mm thick) in one corner. And urine covered the floor. Needless to say I didn't sit down, at all, for 6 hours. I had nothing to eat nor drink, between 9 am, and what was eventually 11 pm. I wasn't allowed to smoke either. At 2 pm they said they would move me to the overnight cells in Roodepoort by 2.30. At 4 they said by 4.30, and eventually they arrived at 5pm to move me. In this time I had had 3 cell mates. All of them in for common assault - they beat the crap out of their wives / girlfriends. They then spent a few hours trying to convince their respective other halves to not lay charges. A few short, fat (obese) female cops came round to abuse them, but one by one they went out, and never came back - loads of money changes hands in that environment.
Anyway, when they took me out to move me in the back of a van, I lit a smoke. Got in the van, and had 2 more in the next 25 minutes drive. Got out on the other side, got "booked" in, and promptly had my smokes confiscated! FUCK!
Anyway, went through the doors down a passage, where a sign read "holds a maximum of 174 prisoners". Fuck, that's a load of people in such small confines. Anyway, the dude says to me, "Go in that room, take one mattress, and 3 blankets". No thanx I sed, I'm out of this fucking shit-hole tonight! Yea right. They let me into a cell with another 6 guys already there. It's wall to wall mattresses (read 25mm thick, plastic covered piece of foam rubber).
I sit down on the cold floor. The only other white guy tells me the mattress next to him is free, I should sit there. I do. Beats getting piles! There is an Indian guy, and 5 black guys in the cell. All youngsters. The Indian is most outspoken and does the introductions:-
He's in cause they did a roadblock, searched his car, and found "hijacking" and "House breaking tools". He's a known repeat offender. The first black dude in the corner - Robbery, the second one, stealing a geyser - OK, so he didn't actually. He broke into an unoccupied house, got into the ceiling to steal the geyser, slipped, fell through the ceiling, and got himself arrested for trespassing, and damage to private property! Repeat offender. Next black dude - housebreaking. Then it's the Indian, and then another black dude, who was in the car with the Indian, so he's basically fucked due to his mate's record! An accomplice by association.
The white guys is there for Animal cruelty - there was a little stray that kept running into his yard, he took a couple of shots in it's general direction with an air rifle, and one of the pellets ricocheted off the concrete and hit the dog. No serious damage, but some Baby Seal Hugger saw him, laid a charge, and he got his arse attested. He was in for 24 hours already, and no sign of bail as yet!
Then they asked what I was in for. Assault - GBH, I replied. What the fuck did you hit the guy with? they asked. I show my open right hand, and confirm "One fuckslap with this". And that was me sorted. The next comment was "Fuck - we won't be looking for any shit with you then!" (but it was said in jest)!
I mentioned that the cops had taken my smokes, and out came a full pack, and an offer of as many as I wanted! You can get anything inside, as long as you can afford it. I declined, on the basis that a) I wasn't planning to be there long, b) I know I can go without a smoke for a few hours, and c) some of these guys can ill afford to give away cigarettes, some were there for 10 days already, with no hope for bail (can't afford it).
As the hours passed by, I kind of came to the conclusion that I was going to spend the night. The Indian fellow explained how this "after hours" bail works, and confirmed that th cost would be ZAR3500.00, plus the bail!
By 8.30 pm, still nothing to eat or drink since 9am, I decided that I would try to sleep, so that my stomach, swollen tongue, and by now uncomfortable bladder would not bother me anymore. Let me tell you, the cells are not made to be comfortable. The wind blows in through the front gate, sand across the 4x4 room, and out of the grates (where the windows would be) And it was fucking cold! The white guy offered me one of his blankets. I took it, rolled it up for a pillow. The black dude in the corner, in for robbery, offered me one of his, and I took thar to cover myself, and tried to sleep.
10.20 pm. We hear the outer cell door open. Then the doors leading to our cell is opened, and the clown who took my smokes away sticks his head in and calls me out. And the "Animal Cruelty" suspect! I know it's home time! A quick goodbye, and good luck to the other guys, and we out of there. I takes this clown nearly 30 minutes to process us out of there. And, he tried to steal my smokes and lighter, but decided this white guy was in no mood to fuck around, so opened his bag, and got them out, and returned them to me. Poes!!
GMan was there, as well as a lawyer for the dog shooter. My lawyer had come and gone. He paid the ZAR1000 bail, go the receipt, and we left. In the car he had a Coke Zero, and a box of biscuits for me. All I wanted was a smoke. On the way he updated me on the days events, and said he had traveled 500km between the police stations during the day! Hesaid the lawyer was a cop selection, and they had to go to Randfontein to finda public proscecutor who would sign off the bail approval. Anyway, I was on my way home, to a very stressed out Princess, and LuckyL who had had a seriously bad day!
Thank you family! More to follow