Those of you who have read my blog for some time will know that I'm not happy working where I do, and that for some time I have been waiting for an offer from another company who really want me on board, but actually can't afford me. Sounds a bit presumptuous of me, but they can't. I have a minimum cost of living to meet, and can't take a job offer for less money at this time.
Had a long chat with a mate this morning, and he's of the opinion I am wasting my time both here and in the next place. Says that I have what it takes to go out there on my own, and do something for myself. he's probably right, but at 50 something, that''s a damn long shot, and the risk is enormous. If it does not work, I stand to lose everything I have worked for over the past 37 years - yup, I started working at 16.
It's a bad space to be in right now. I'm not performing up to expectations in my position, more because of the economy being down, and my client set being "independently self sufficient" in the services I am supposed to sell them. Also, the targets that have been set are so unachievable, that even if I was able to close a bunch of deals, I could never make the expected number, hence can not earn the level of commissions I could / should be earning.
I suppose going out in my own is an option - I just need to find a service that I can offer the market which is in demand, and which the market is willing to pay for.
I have a strong Mechanical Engineering background - Qualified Fitter 7 Turner, Mechanical Design Draughtsman, Engineering sales, Quality Assurance, Workshop Management, Project Management (Engineering). Some of the skills I have the required certifications for, some I have learned on the way, and can do very well, but have no paperwork to back it up, other than letters of reference. Apart from sales, I have not done much of the other work for many years, so I'd probably be a bit rusty, and maybe even out of date with regards changes in the policies, and regulations.
Ultimately, I just want to enjoy whatever I do. I want to have the life style we enjoyed as a family 10 years ago. Why should I be disadvantaged because I'm white, middle aged, and a long term employee? In fact, my manager made a comment last week Friday about "Considering what your salary is"..... but didn't continue. What he was talking about was the fact that the senior management are putting pressure on him to get me out, but he's unwilling because my output far exceeds the standard, and he knows that to replace me would cost the company probably 10 - 15% more, and with a person who will not be able to perform at my level for probably 6 - 8 months! He knows that deal closing is not where it should be, but also understands the reasons. Management up the line don't care about the reason, that have a spreadsheet to drive, and that's how the business is conducted.
Either way, I don't mind. I have on numerous occasions over the past 12 months asked for them to give me a package - "Mutual separation agreement" - I'm happy to depart fora settlement of 2 weeks per year served - they don't even take it into consideration.
The end result will be that either they fire me for non-performance, or I resign cause I can't put up with the crap anymore. And in both cases I land up going to the CCMA (LIU), and making a case against the employer and will probably get 6 months severance pay anyway!
Any comments will be accepted - however, if you want to tell me to stop whining and go do something about it, I will tell you to piss off. This is my blog, a place where I get to vent my feelings and emotions as I see fit, and that is exactly what I have done today.