Some time ago I posted how challenging it is for me to be a Dad to teenage boys. Mostly due to the fact (I think) that I left home at 16, got a job, and moved into my own "digs". Suddenly I had 2 boys in the house, over 18 years of age, and I wasn't sure of how to handle various situations. You want to treat them like the adults they are, but because they still "under your roof", do the terms change?
Anyway, most of that post was due to the situations I was finding myself in with GMan.
Last night I had a "situation" with LuckyL. Let me just explain that these two are completely different personalities. One is "Mr. Know-it-all" (and I say this affectionately), the other does not know his own capability. SO, let's cut to the chase. LuckyL has for some time has issues with a girl friend. On again, off again, not sure what he wants, definitely not sure what she wants, and I could see it was hurting him. Matter of the heart do this to us mere mortals. He's quite the romantic, and very soft hearted. Whenever I would ask how this part of his life was going, he would not have an answer, just say "OK" or "dont' know"..... Not sure if he just does not talk easily about "love matters", or if he just figured it had nothing to do with me.
Last night however, he came out with stuff. The only reason I think, was because the situation with the "girlfriend" would / could have an effect on his current offer for employment - I'm not going to go into the details of that here - not relevant.
Anyway, as a Dad, all I could offer as advise was "I've been there, I know it hurts, but it's life's lessons. It's how we learn, and grow up. The hardest part is probably accepting that it's not working, and walking away!" I needed him to understand that it's not a flaw in him, his ways, his attitude, it's just how things are sometimes, or, how the maturity in the relationship is out of kilter.
I spent a few more minutes listening, and talking, and advising, but all the time making sure I didn't cross any "unseen lines". Seeing your son cry over matters of the heart is not easy, but also makes your space in your heart for him so much bigger.
His status on BBM later that night read:-
Advice from the ppl that know me best! Thanx everyone!! - Love my dad too much! Thanx for always being there and supporting me!
Nuff said - Love you too my boy!!!