So here's the thing. My boys have been getting out of hand of late. Not serious shit as such, but enough to piss me off. They are both in their teens, so I suppose it's the testosterone thing, but that's their problem. Me, I just lay down the law. Last night was law time. From now on they will address me as Sir. Not Dad. Dad is a term of endearment, reserved for those who earn the right, me, I'm just the male object in this home who works to bring in the money, and ensure that we have enough f whatever we need available. So, to this end, the title has been implemented and will stay until such time as I decide otherwise. Princess didn't have a problem with this, or any of the other "laws" I proclaimed in the household last night.
Suffice to say, GMan was visibly upset, and LuckyL didn't show any emotion. But that's how the two of them are. It's just as I expected.
Out of home excursions have been limited to "must do" only. If I decide that something I want to do takes preference over something someone else has planned, tough shit, what I say goes.
Some of you, (Solomonster) will read much into this. Don't be perturbed. I am just realigning the goal posts. Sometimes you try something, give a little, and then it gets out of hand. That's when you need to pull back a bit, and that's what I have done.
When I was growing up, my Dad was very strict, that's what he knew how, and regularly I had the crap beaten out of me (maybe I did deserve it), but, I won't do that to my kids. I will, however, utilise any civil means to ensure they respect me, the Princess, and our house rules.
And if they don't like it, they are free to approach any other institution where they feel they would get a better deal.
For me it's simple. Follow the rules, get anything you want / need. Piss me off, and you will think you have been abducted by aliens....
Salagatle!
2 comments:
Wellllll....since things are being pointed at me directly, I guess I'll have to respond.
Parenting is an art form, not a science, and different strokes apply for different folks. Living in a society where you can be dobbed in (look it up) for smacking your child does present its challenges here.
I do not pass judgment on you...er...Sir Wreckless...and wish you all the best. My view is that there has to be a balance - kids are always trying their boundaries and need to know when too much is too much. This gives them a frame of reference from which they draw on for life, and builds the foundations for their moral values and, indeed, their own parenting model. It also gives them comfort and self esteem, as they know what to do, and what not to do. It is always an interesting concept when two individuals, sometimes with different value systems and life experiences, try to adapt or meld with a single parenting framework for their own children. Some individuals are determined to do or be everything there parents weren’t and end up over-compensating. Others insist on being exactly like their own parents. What gets left out of the formula here is that the children are independent spirits of their own – you can only guide and influence slightly the personality and psyche that underlies your child.
If they understand fully that they have overstepped their bounds and hence there will be punishment, they need to understand that good behaviour will be rewarded. I am not advocating dangling carrots and bribing them, but they obviously had some freedoms before of which they have now been deprived.
Watch out though – the pendulum of power should swing back to grant some freedoms again, otherwise the vice-like grip will result in bits squeezing out through the fingers. They may rebel. The slaves are revolting.
Here endeth the lesson. Call me Doctor Solomonster. Yes, if anyone wants to know I have three kids, 9, 7 & 2. Since parenting is always an emotive subject I expect backlash.
Hi
I had the same happen to me with my kid, what worked was small things, like no cellphone for a week, no TV for a week, no friends for a week.
The best is to set ground rules and display them in the kids room. If they do well they get something back, if not extra gets taken away.
One thing I found is that if you decide something you have to see it to the end. Don't give in
I think that a wack on the bum also helps
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