Three women friends, one in a casual relationship, one engaged to be married and one a long-time wife, met for drinks after work. The conversation eventually drifted towards how best to spice up their sex lives.
After much discussion, they decided to surprise their men by engaging in some S&M role playing.
The following week they met up again to compare notes. Sipping her drink, the single girl leered and said, 'Last Friday at the end of the work day I went to my boyfriend's office wearing a leather coat.
When all the other people had left, I slipped out of it and all I had on was a leather bodice, black stockings and stiletto heels. He was so aroused that we made mad passionate love on his desk right then and there!'
The engaged woman giggled and said, 'That's pretty much my story! When my fiancé got home last Friday, he found me waiting for him in a black mask, leather bodice, black hose and stiletto pumps. He was so turned on that we not only made love all night, he wants to move up our wedding date!
The married woman put her glass down and said, 'I did a lot of planning. I made arrangements for the kids to stay over at Grandma's. I took a long scented-oil bath and then put on my best perfume. I slipped into a tight leather bodice, a black garter belt, black stockings and six-inch stilettos. I finished it off with a black mask, ready for action.
When my husband got home from work, he grabbed a beer and the remote, sat down and yelled,
'Hey, Batman, what's for dinner?
Salagatle!
LIU - Look It Up!
Friday, January 30, 2009
The Princess - 2
A woman goes to Italy to attend a 2-week, company training session.
Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.
The wife answers : 'Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?'
The husband laughs and says: 'An Italian girl !!!'
The woman kept quiet and left.
Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: 'So, honey, how was the trip?'
'Very good, thank you.' 'And, what happened to my present?'
'Which present?' She asked.
'The one I asked for - an Italian girl!!'
'Oh, that' she said
'Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait for 9 months to see if it is a girl !!!'
Moral of the story: Don't tempt a woman, they are dangerously intelligent!
Salagatle!
Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.
The wife answers : 'Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?'
The husband laughs and says: 'An Italian girl !!!'
The woman kept quiet and left.
Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: 'So, honey, how was the trip?'
'Very good, thank you.' 'And, what happened to my present?'
'Which present?' She asked.
'The one I asked for - an Italian girl!!'
'Oh, that' she said
'Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait for 9 months to see if it is a girl !!!'
Moral of the story: Don't tempt a woman, they are dangerously intelligent!
Salagatle!
From the Princess
The Mayonnaise Jar
When things in your life seem, Almost too much to handle, When 24 Hours in a day is not enough, Remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.
A professor stood before his philosophy class
And had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, He picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar And proceeded to fill it with golf balls.
He then asked the students, If the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open Areas between the golf balls.
He then asked The students again If the jar was full... They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand And poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded With an unanimous 'yes.'
The professor then produced Two cups of coffee from under the table And poured the entire contents Into the jar, effectively Filling the Empty space between the sand. The students laughed.
'Now,' said the professor, As the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that This jar represents your life.. The golf balls are the important things - God, family, children, health, Friends, and Favorite passions -
Things that if everything else was lost And only they remained, Your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter Like your job, house, and car.
The sand is everything else -- The small stuff.
'If you put the sand into the jar first,' He continued, 'there is no room for The pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life.
If you spend all your time And energy on the small stuff, You will never have room for The things that are Important to you. So...
Pay attention to the things That are critical to your happiness. Play With your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. There will always be time
To clean the house and fix the disposal. 'Take care of the golf balls first -- The things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'
One of the students raised her hand And inquired what the coffee represented.
The professor smiled. 'I'm glad you asked'.
It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for A couple of cups of coffee with a friend.'
Please share this with other "Golf Balls"
I just did......
Salagatle!
When things in your life seem, Almost too much to handle, When 24 Hours in a day is not enough, Remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.
A professor stood before his philosophy class
And had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, He picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar And proceeded to fill it with golf balls.
He then asked the students, If the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open Areas between the golf balls.
He then asked The students again If the jar was full... They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand And poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded With an unanimous 'yes.'
The professor then produced Two cups of coffee from under the table And poured the entire contents Into the jar, effectively Filling the Empty space between the sand. The students laughed.
'Now,' said the professor, As the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that This jar represents your life.. The golf balls are the important things - God, family, children, health, Friends, and Favorite passions -
Things that if everything else was lost And only they remained, Your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter Like your job, house, and car.
The sand is everything else -- The small stuff.
'If you put the sand into the jar first,' He continued, 'there is no room for The pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life.
If you spend all your time And energy on the small stuff, You will never have room for The things that are Important to you. So...
Pay attention to the things That are critical to your happiness. Play With your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. There will always be time
To clean the house and fix the disposal. 'Take care of the golf balls first -- The things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'
One of the students raised her hand And inquired what the coffee represented.
The professor smiled. 'I'm glad you asked'.
It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for A couple of cups of coffee with a friend.'
Please share this with other "Golf Balls"
I just did......
Salagatle!
On the way to work this morning
the traffic was straight out of hell.
Geez - does no one travel by bus / train anymore?
First hiccup was 2.61 km in length - i didn't bother to check how long it took me.
The second was 4.36 km before it opened up. Again, I didn't bother to time it.
Salagatle!
Geez - does no one travel by bus / train anymore?
First hiccup was 2.61 km in length - i didn't bother to check how long it took me.
The second was 4.36 km before it opened up. Again, I didn't bother to time it.Salagatle!
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Some stuff worth posting
And the local population actually spend money on this? And then they submit a claim to their medical aids for reimbursement!! We need more of these cranks, along with TB, HIV AIDS (which does not exist) Malaria, Despotic dictators (a la Mugabe) and hippos, we may eventually eradicate this earth of a typical scourge.....
Though this was quite funny. No, I don't care if you don't find them funny. Not my fault you're sick and have no sense of humor.....
And this is a follow up on a previous post where some doos working for the Durban metro ( I know they have another name) was so upset by citizens spray painting over the street names he had had changed with out consultation, he sumarily had all the street name boards removed!!! Now one one knows whwre the fuck they are, or where they are going to? Surely there's a case for abuse of power, stupidity, endangerment of the public, something that can be done to get this guy committed. I mean, he's got to be a complete fucking moron ( Ok, I know he is) but then surely the locals down there should suspect the same?Wish he was in my local council. I certainly would have taken him to task. Me and another couple of thousand like thinking citizens.
Doos.
Salagatle!
Fishing
So, eventually I cop an invite to the annual fishing trip to the coast, as arranged by Fishman. Every time he posted details of this in the past, I bemoaned the fact that he didn't invite me.
So this year he has. Not sure if he's running short of friends, or maybe it's a financial decision (more people come, less it costs each person), but anyway, there you go.
Amongst others, DMDad is also invited, but it's not his first year.
Anyway, I discussed this with the Princess, and she said it's OK for me to go.
Only to find out now, I actually can't attend this prestigious occasion. Dammit!!!
We going to my brother for a weekend for his 40th, followed by a trip to the Kruger National Park for a cricket tournament the very next weekend. We then have one weekend at home, with another trip to Cape Town the following weekend for a wedding. SO, the fishing trip follows on this, and there just are no more opportunities to a) get away, b) ravage the bank account.
I'm disappointed,, but then, considering some of the emails that have been going backwards and forwards from those who do / will attend the fishing trip, I'm maybe better off not going! Have already pissed off a lady vet, and have been told that I am being taken along as a "trouble sorter outer" which means no one cares about my looks, or personality. They only want me there for my ferocious temper, and ability to shoot to kill when prompted. Sad.... Very sad!
Maybe next time......
Salagatle!
So this year he has. Not sure if he's running short of friends, or maybe it's a financial decision (more people come, less it costs each person), but anyway, there you go.
Amongst others, DMDad is also invited, but it's not his first year.
Anyway, I discussed this with the Princess, and she said it's OK for me to go.
Only to find out now, I actually can't attend this prestigious occasion. Dammit!!!
We going to my brother for a weekend for his 40th, followed by a trip to the Kruger National Park for a cricket tournament the very next weekend. We then have one weekend at home, with another trip to Cape Town the following weekend for a wedding. SO, the fishing trip follows on this, and there just are no more opportunities to a) get away, b) ravage the bank account.I'm disappointed,, but then, considering some of the emails that have been going backwards and forwards from those who do / will attend the fishing trip, I'm maybe better off not going! Have already pissed off a lady vet, and have been told that I am being taken along as a "trouble sorter outer" which means no one cares about my looks, or personality. They only want me there for my ferocious temper, and ability to shoot to kill when prompted. Sad.... Very sad!
Maybe next time......
Salagatle!
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