I am sitting in a coffee shop in the Glen Shopping mall. Had to take the Princess's VW Kombi for it's 90,000km service, and there is no way to gat to the office from here. So, I'm working remotely. S'true! Have sent off many derogatory / defamatory emails to various employees at my company, and am getting much expected backlash from same!!!!
Have also updated some clients on the expected turnaround time for their proposals (he he, nothing like creating an expectation knowing there is no way you can do it!!!).
And finally, answered some private emails, comments on this blog, and chatted to some people on facebook. All in all, so far, a great morning. My colleague is sitting in an all day planning session. I am supposed to be there, but can't. Not that I mind, as whatever they discuss there is a) boring, b) never followed / delivered on.
Later.
Salagatle!
LIU - Look It Up!
Friday, January 25, 2008
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Smith Barney Benefit Access
Ok, so the share options I have with my employer are registered with the above company. And now I understand why.
When I got my first share options, I registered with this company, on line. I received from them - IN THE POST, at my previous PO box address a secret temporary internet access number. I used this to go on line, and entered my own password. There after I visited regularly, and as I got my other two share awards over time, I registered these too.
Sometime, somewhere, I lost / forgot the password. This is about 18 months ago. Since then I have tried everything to regain access. I have sent umpteen emails to them, they sometime respond with some stuff which should reset my password, I go through the motions, only to get to the end and the system says, "Wrong Password"! Then I leave it for a few weeks / months, and try again, and go through the whole process again, and get pissed off, and frustrated to hell and back and leave it again!
This is their access web page. Not that it's any use to anyone....
https://www.benefitaccess.com/app-bin/bareg/servlets/baLogonAssistServlet
This evening I called them from home. Yup, they work such fucked up hours I would have to stay on at the office if I wanted to call them from there. So I call - it's in the USA, so it's going to cost me a few bob.
A pleasant enough lady answers the phone, I tell her what's wrong and she says no problem. Asks for my Global ID# ! Yup, I have one of those, my employer gave it to me. Imagine, a GLOBAL ID #! Then she asks for my name, spell it, surname, spell that please. Address! And this is where the whole fucking boat upended, throwing 17,000 sailors and passengers to the hungry rabid wolves! Yea I know - it's my crisis, ok!!!!
Give my employer's street address, no not that one, employers postal address, no not that one either, my home address, my postal address, my old home address, my old postal address....... pant, pant, pant,... No, not that one either.
Well, what you want me to do lady? Ask me something else then. Nope, if I cannot provide the address they have on their system, she can't give me access.... HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT ADDRESS YOU HAVE ON YOUR FUCKING STUPID SYSTEM YOU CRAZY SOUTHERN BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(BREATH IN, BREATH OUT......) Ok, so what do I have to do? Ask your employer to tell you what address they have submitted for you. Great - wait a minute, I have an envelope in my wallet, its about 8 years old, which YOU FUCKING IDIOTS POSTED TO ME!!! This is the address on the envelope. No sir, sorry, it's not what we have on the system.....\\And then ESKOM got involved, and the power went out, and as I was on the portable phone (which, unlike the old fashioned corded phones does need power to operate) I was cut off. Yea, I know, I should have called her worse things. What do you mean it's not her fault? No, it probably isn't but what do I care, it's not like she's going to send her husband / brother / cousins / father around to get me...... And it's not like I used all that bad language....
I started by saying I now know why my employer uses this company for this benefit management. It's because their online systems, and help desk are a fucked up as ours are!!!
Tomorrow I'm calling the office. SOMEBODY better know what fucking address there is on the stupid system against my name...
Salagatle!
When I got my first share options, I registered with this company, on line. I received from them - IN THE POST, at my previous PO box address a secret temporary internet access number. I used this to go on line, and entered my own password. There after I visited regularly, and as I got my other two share awards over time, I registered these too.
Sometime, somewhere, I lost / forgot the password. This is about 18 months ago. Since then I have tried everything to regain access. I have sent umpteen emails to them, they sometime respond with some stuff which should reset my password, I go through the motions, only to get to the end and the system says, "Wrong Password"! Then I leave it for a few weeks / months, and try again, and go through the whole process again, and get pissed off, and frustrated to hell and back and leave it again!
This is their access web page. Not that it's any use to anyone....
https://www.benefitaccess.com/app-bin/bareg/servlets/baLogonAssistServlet
This evening I called them from home. Yup, they work such fucked up hours I would have to stay on at the office if I wanted to call them from there. So I call - it's in the USA, so it's going to cost me a few bob.
A pleasant enough lady answers the phone, I tell her what's wrong and she says no problem. Asks for my Global ID# ! Yup, I have one of those, my employer gave it to me. Imagine, a GLOBAL ID #! Then she asks for my name, spell it, surname, spell that please. Address! And this is where the whole fucking boat upended, throwing 17,000 sailors and passengers to the hungry rabid wolves! Yea I know - it's my crisis, ok!!!!
Give my employer's street address, no not that one, employers postal address, no not that one either, my home address, my postal address, my old home address, my old postal address....... pant, pant, pant,... No, not that one either.
Well, what you want me to do lady? Ask me something else then. Nope, if I cannot provide the address they have on their system, she can't give me access.... HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT ADDRESS YOU HAVE ON YOUR FUCKING STUPID SYSTEM YOU CRAZY SOUTHERN BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(BREATH IN, BREATH OUT......) Ok, so what do I have to do? Ask your employer to tell you what address they have submitted for you. Great - wait a minute, I have an envelope in my wallet, its about 8 years old, which YOU FUCKING IDIOTS POSTED TO ME!!! This is the address on the envelope. No sir, sorry, it's not what we have on the system.....\\And then ESKOM got involved, and the power went out, and as I was on the portable phone (which, unlike the old fashioned corded phones does need power to operate) I was cut off. Yea, I know, I should have called her worse things. What do you mean it's not her fault? No, it probably isn't but what do I care, it's not like she's going to send her husband / brother / cousins / father around to get me...... And it's not like I used all that bad language....
I started by saying I now know why my employer uses this company for this benefit management. It's because their online systems, and help desk are a fucked up as ours are!!!
Tomorrow I'm calling the office. SOMEBODY better know what fucking address there is on the stupid system against my name...
Salagatle!
The funniest thing that I did today?
I went to the office kitchenette, where we get coffee / tea or water. And where there is a microwave where some of the staff can warm up their lunch. Anyway, the power is off, so there is lighting, but the coffee machine is down, as is the air conditioning and / or air circulation fan.
So, I got a cup ow water, and just before I walked out, dropped the most vilest of darts I could muster! Even I had to move quickly!!!
Walked past there to the "gents" about 7 minutes later and it was still impenetrable!!!
Salagatle!
So, I got a cup ow water, and just before I walked out, dropped the most vilest of darts I could muster! Even I had to move quickly!!!
Walked past there to the "gents" about 7 minutes later and it was still impenetrable!!!
Salagatle!
Why is it
that 99% of spam mail rceived, on my Yhaoo email anyway, is related to either penile enlargements, or other chemical resources to improve your sex life?
Is there really such a big market for this crap out there? Are we, as the supposed intelligent species really so obsessed with our sexuality, and getting leg over that thousands of people are willing to get into the "supply" game?
Maybe I'm naive (LOL) but I think it's more an automated sending meant to embarrass the recipient rather than sell them something.
Salagatle!
Is there really such a big market for this crap out there? Are we, as the supposed intelligent species really so obsessed with our sexuality, and getting leg over that thousands of people are willing to get into the "supply" game?
Maybe I'm naive (LOL) but I think it's more an automated sending meant to embarrass the recipient rather than sell them something.
Salagatle!
Why females should avoid a girls night out after they are married....
If this does not make you laugh out loud, you have lost your sense of humor.
The other night I was invited out for a night with the "girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!" Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home.
Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times.
I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. Even when totally smashed... 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals = 12
Cuckoos MIDNIGHT!)
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him "MIDNIGHT"... he didn't seem pissed off in the least.
Whew, I got away with that one! Then he said "We need a new cuckoo clock."
When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said "oh shit." Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.
Salagatle!
The other night I was invited out for a night with the "girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!" Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home.
Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times.
I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. Even when totally smashed... 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals = 12
Cuckoos MIDNIGHT!)
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him "MIDNIGHT"... he didn't seem pissed off in the least.
Whew, I got away with that one! Then he said "We need a new cuckoo clock."
When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said "oh shit." Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.
Salagatle!
According to my resources
if I happen to "accidentally" knock someone out of the 3rd floor window, it may raise some suspicions, however, if it should occur on the first floor of the building, it more likely to be accepted as an accident.
But, what's the odds of someone surviving a first floor fall? I think the 3rd floor is a better option, I just need to make sure that the "accidental" component is, shall we say, watertight?
Salagatle!
But, what's the odds of someone surviving a first floor fall? I think the 3rd floor is a better option, I just need to make sure that the "accidental" component is, shall we say, watertight?
Salagatle!
The History of the Middle Finger
Well, now......here's something I never knew before, and now that I know it, I feel compelled to send it on to my more intelligent friends in the hope that they, too, will feel edified. Isn't history more fun when you know something about it?
Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers. Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting in the future. This famous English longbow was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as "plucking the yew" (or "pluck yew").
Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, See, we can still pluck yew! Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodental fricative F', and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute! It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as "giving the bird."
IT IS STILL AN APPROPRIATE SALUTE TO THE FRENCH TODAY!
And yew thought yew knew every plucking thing.
Salagatle!
Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers. Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting in the future. This famous English longbow was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as "plucking the yew" (or "pluck yew").
Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, See, we can still pluck yew! Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodental fricative F', and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute! It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as "giving the bird."
IT IS STILL AN APPROPRIATE SALUTE TO THE FRENCH TODAY!
And yew thought yew knew every plucking thing.
Salagatle!
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
It's just a matter of time.....
Received my "challenges" this morning from the boss. Over and above the Signings target, the Revenue target, and the Profit target, all of which carry some of my commissions linked to them, I also have 3 challenges. All of the above relate to the first half year only. Second half we get issued with more of the same.
Anyway, of the 3 challenges, one is a maybe, one is a long shot, and one is doable, insofar as I should be able to sign some new business in this field.
However, having said that, I will be very disappointed if I am still here, doing this by the end of June. I have received drawings for some machines from a contact, have spoken to a friend about doing some joint manufacturing, and if all goes well, will be in business within 3 months. That won't mean I will leave here immediately, but it does mean I won't really care about the targets.
That said, I better get the drawings printed so I can meet with my "manufacturer" tonight!
Salagatle!
Anyway, of the 3 challenges, one is a maybe, one is a long shot, and one is doable, insofar as I should be able to sign some new business in this field.
However, having said that, I will be very disappointed if I am still here, doing this by the end of June. I have received drawings for some machines from a contact, have spoken to a friend about doing some joint manufacturing, and if all goes well, will be in business within 3 months. That won't mean I will leave here immediately, but it does mean I won't really care about the targets.
That said, I better get the drawings printed so I can meet with my "manufacturer" tonight!
Salagatle!
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
The Princess sent this
It's a sad day when we cannot show respect for our senior citizens!
Senior Citizens of the world unite against abusive optometrists!!! How's this for a crappy eye test!
Salagatle!
Senior Citizens of the world unite against abusive optometrists!!! How's this for a crappy eye test!
Salagatle!
More on ESKOM
The above have been reproduced without permission. However, I don't think the originators would mind. If they happen across this blog, and do mind me posting this stuff, a simple request to remove them on the comment box will suffice. Enjoy!
This is not an ESKOM thing (DUH!), but it's very relevant to the current (no pun intended) situation on our roads today. Anyone who has access to South AFrican News will now that out taxi's are "Fast & Deadly"!
Salagatle!
I thought this was
more of the same - you know those sweet - motivational - heavenly type messages that go around from time to time, and which I rarely have time to read, and which I NEVER forward. Well, the sender said in another message that I should read them, they are funny.
And I did! And they are, so, don't look at the picture's, read the writing!
HEHE!
LOL!
U Gotta go with this!
Salagatle!
And I did! And they are, so, don't look at the picture's, read the writing!
HEHE!
LOL!
U Gotta go with this!
Salagatle!
Monday, January 21, 2008
Valentines Day
Now this is a really special one - my Italian blood made me say that! However, do you still send Valentine cards to your "valentine" after you are married? Why? He / She's got to know it's coming from you? Isn't the whole idea behind Valentine's Day so that "single" people can send an anonymous romantic card / wish / words to someone they secretly admire? Well, that's how I see it.
I must admit though, I always, every year wish my Mom a Happy Valentine's Day. She is after all, my first Valentine!
And yes, I make a point of wishing the Princess too. Not sure I get a card every year, and no, I don't do the whole "These are fucking expensive roses" thing either.
Salagatle!
(am I bored / have nothing to post - judging by my last two or three posts I have to say I am / I don't!)
I must admit though, I always, every year wish my Mom a Happy Valentine's Day. She is after all, my first Valentine!
And yes, I make a point of wishing the Princess too. Not sure I get a card every year, and no, I don't do the whole "These are fucking expensive roses" thing either.
Salagatle!
(am I bored / have nothing to post - judging by my last two or three posts I have to say I am / I don't!)
The commercial roller coaster
(Have you noticed how the spell checker doesn't check the title or the labels!)
Anyway, the commercial roller coaster is the continuous sales / specials / reasons to spend days like NewYear/BackToSchool/ValentinesDay/Easter/MotherDay/FathersDay/GuyFawkesDay/Xmas.... (add your own here..) and so on.
In other countries, like the USA there's Independence Day, Halloween, Turkey (Thanks giving) and others.
The point is - all the stores go all out to try and get you to spend an extra buck whenever these occasions come around. Every store has "Special Prices", "Discounts" and the inevitable "Day after" sale. All the time. So, if for all those days of the year they can "discount" all the goods so much, why not have the cheaper prices every day of the year. After all, it's not like they are selling the stuff at a loss, just a bit cheaper! Know what I mean?
Salagatle!
Anyway, the commercial roller coaster is the continuous sales / specials / reasons to spend days like NewYear/BackToSchool/ValentinesDay/Easter/MotherDay/FathersDay/GuyFawkesDay/Xmas.... (add your own here..) and so on.
In other countries, like the USA there's Independence Day, Halloween, Turkey (Thanks giving) and others.
The point is - all the stores go all out to try and get you to spend an extra buck whenever these occasions come around. Every store has "Special Prices", "Discounts" and the inevitable "Day after" sale. All the time. So, if for all those days of the year they can "discount" all the goods so much, why not have the cheaper prices every day of the year. After all, it's not like they are selling the stuff at a loss, just a bit cheaper! Know what I mean?
Salagatle!
Great radio ad!
Heard on air in the past few days, an ad for "Dial a Nerd". (LIU). They are a computer assistance company.
An elderly lady says how since Nerds set up her PC and internet, she can now play Bridge online. She talks about how she's meeting all these nice people online from all over the world.
Just last week, she says, she was chatting to this Mexican guy. He's so nice. He asked her how she looked and what she was wearing. He even asked her to send him a photo of her cat (funny that, she didn't remember telling him she had one) and he was going to send her a photo of his rooster.
Now, the first time I heard it, I thought, what a stupid ad. The second - it hit me like a steamroller.
It's soooo funny, every time I hear it now, I have to laugh, not sure if it's at the ad, or myself!
Salagatle!
An elderly lady says how since Nerds set up her PC and internet, she can now play Bridge online. She talks about how she's meeting all these nice people online from all over the world.
Just last week, she says, she was chatting to this Mexican guy. He's so nice. He asked her how she looked and what she was wearing. He even asked her to send him a photo of her cat (funny that, she didn't remember telling him she had one) and he was going to send her a photo of his rooster.
Now, the first time I heard it, I thought, what a stupid ad. The second - it hit me like a steamroller.
It's soooo funny, every time I hear it now, I have to laugh, not sure if it's at the ad, or myself!
Salagatle!
So many blog ideas
I had so many ideas for the blog this weekend, none of which I can now remember! It rained the whole weekend, miserable, overcast, and chilly. Not really what we are used to here!
Had a bit of a crappy Sunday, thanks to LuckyL, but that's not really so serious!
Friday night we went to friends for dinner. Had a very good evening. The host leaves today for a 5 week trout fishing holiday in New Zealand! Lucky bum! Another couple were also there, also friends of ours. I had a long chat with the guy, let's call him R. He's into machine design and supply, for specialised plant requirements, especially filtration, moisture removal and such. I actually used to work for him many years ago. As it's design / mechanical stuff, I was really interested, and got quite caught up in his excitement. He's onto some big stuff, and looks like he's going to be getting quite a big order soon. He also had some proposals he put to me - basically getting back into the mechanical engineering game, which I would love to do. However, he's not offering me a job, but rather the opportunity to start a manufacturing shop, to build some of the machines he needs! it's a great opportunity, but, and this is a big but, I don't have the finances to start such a shop, and can't afford to leave my current job until I'm making some good money.
What I have asked is for him to send me the drawings. If, and this is a long shot, if I can manufacture these machines from home, I will give it a shot! He's happy to pay 50% upfront, which will pay for the materials required. So, if it's not too heavy duty, I will give it a shot!
Saturday evening saw us driving to Vereeniging. Some friends there had a party for their daughter turning 16, and our two boys were invited. Turned out to be a good evening. Lots of fun and laughs, for us adults anyway, and the kids seemed to have a good time too. Although, the dj, ( a friend of the birthday girl what has a nice music setup) got pised off quite early, and packed up and left. So they had to revert to a small music center, and cd's, but that was no problem!
Sunday, visit to Mom as usual. She's ok, also fed up with the weather. GMan went with his fitness coach to watch international hockey. Says it was great! And this morning, he was up at 5 am, as they are having special fitness training at the school in the mornings in preparation for the Malaysian tour.
Right now I'm sitting in the 8am meeting, and the discussion, as usual is where are we going to get opportunities from? DUH?
Had a bit of a crappy Sunday, thanks to LuckyL, but that's not really so serious!
Friday night we went to friends for dinner. Had a very good evening. The host leaves today for a 5 week trout fishing holiday in New Zealand! Lucky bum! Another couple were also there, also friends of ours. I had a long chat with the guy, let's call him R. He's into machine design and supply, for specialised plant requirements, especially filtration, moisture removal and such. I actually used to work for him many years ago. As it's design / mechanical stuff, I was really interested, and got quite caught up in his excitement. He's onto some big stuff, and looks like he's going to be getting quite a big order soon. He also had some proposals he put to me - basically getting back into the mechanical engineering game, which I would love to do. However, he's not offering me a job, but rather the opportunity to start a manufacturing shop, to build some of the machines he needs! it's a great opportunity, but, and this is a big but, I don't have the finances to start such a shop, and can't afford to leave my current job until I'm making some good money.
What I have asked is for him to send me the drawings. If, and this is a long shot, if I can manufacture these machines from home, I will give it a shot! He's happy to pay 50% upfront, which will pay for the materials required. So, if it's not too heavy duty, I will give it a shot!
Saturday evening saw us driving to Vereeniging. Some friends there had a party for their daughter turning 16, and our two boys were invited. Turned out to be a good evening. Lots of fun and laughs, for us adults anyway, and the kids seemed to have a good time too. Although, the dj, ( a friend of the birthday girl what has a nice music setup) got pised off quite early, and packed up and left. So they had to revert to a small music center, and cd's, but that was no problem!
Sunday, visit to Mom as usual. She's ok, also fed up with the weather. GMan went with his fitness coach to watch international hockey. Says it was great! And this morning, he was up at 5 am, as they are having special fitness training at the school in the mornings in preparation for the Malaysian tour.
Right now I'm sitting in the 8am meeting, and the discussion, as usual is where are we going to get opportunities from? DUH?
Traffic and power cuts
Left home at 06h10 today, as I have a must attend meeting at 08h00 at the Sandton office. It's 52 km from my house. I got here at 08h10... Go figure.
Salagatle!
Salagatle!
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