Rubbish emails

Every now and then an email (different one's) comes to my desktop which really makes me wonder about the level of intelligence of those who a) make them up, and / or b) forward them to all of the people on their contact lists. Normally I just hit the delete button. This one I read, and decided to post here - with my comments. Then I deleted it anyway..

RAND MERCHANT BANK:

This is about petrol prices and an invitation to join the resistance. By the end of this month petrol prices are set to soar even higher. (Yup, that's what happens when a) the Rand loses ground to the US$, the price of crude goes up, and taxes on fuel are raised.)

If we want the petrol price to come down, we all need to take some intelligent, united action. (Ok, and I suppose this email is going to tell us how?)

Last year there was a "don't buy petrol day" (There was? Must have been the day, no, that wasn’t it… mmmm , when was this exactly? -but the oil companies just laughed at that because they knew that we would "hurt" ourselves by refusing to buy petrol. (I'd have to say "I told you so"!)

It was more of an inconvenience to us than a problem to them. (Again I'd have to say "I told you so"!)

But, whoever thought of the ideas, has come up with a plan that can really work. (Oh yes, I’m sure this will really work, probably like all those lazy fuck’s employed by Home Affairs really work, or those cunts in the municipality and / or traffic departments really work – fuck off man, you don’t know what really works is!)

READ ON AND JOIN THE ACTION!!

By now you probably thinking petrol priced at about R7.00 is cheap. It is currently at +- R8.00 for regular and unleaded. (This is a bit behind times – maybe prices are going up faster then email can get around!)
Now that the oil companies and the OPEC nations (the bullies like US and Britain) (I sense a tone of Islam in this) have conditioned us (You have been conditioned to believe that HIV/AIDS is a laboratory manufactured virus, made by white guys to kill of black guys…) to think that the cost of a liter is cheap at R 7.00 ,we need to take aggressive action to teach them that buyers control the marketplace......... not the sellers. (OPEC is probably to blame for the rise in price of crude cause they won’t bump more oil, however it is the market that is demanding more, and willing to pay more for what is available – the oil companies, and here I detect a bit of anti – British and US sentiment ((a la Mugabe!)) just charge what they are allowed to ((In most instances competition and / or governments regulate this)), as there is an educated consumer out ther!
With the price of petrol going up each day, we consumers need to take action. (Yup, let’s all queue up to fill up on the n ight before the increase so we can burn up R28.00 petrol while we stand idling in the queue so as to save at least R25.00 on the next tankfull!)

The only way we are going to see the price of petrol come down is if we hit someone in the pocket by not purchasing their petrol. (And this is where this plan just comes apart!!!!!)

And we can do that without hurting ourselves. (As long as it does not involve playing with sharp instruments – my mom won’t like that)

How? (How?)

Since we rely on our cars, we just cannot stop buying petrol. (No we don’t, and yes we can! Catch a taxi, ride a bicycle, walk to work – you just a lazy fuck, aren’t you?!?)

But we can have an impact on petrol prices if we all act together to force a price war. (Yup, a price war – in a country where the price is regulated – interesting concept)

Here's the idea:

For the rest of the year, don't purchase any petrol from the two biggest overseas oil companies (which are now one), SHELL and BP... (I'd have to come to the conclusion here that the person who wrote this is either an employee of one of the local suppliers, or has shares in them)

(Local is Lekka - So buy Sasol / Engen / Excel) (Yea, and Telkom also repair your land line within 24 hours, you can get your ID doc / Birth Certificate / Passport within 25 h9ours of application / Zimbabwe is the bread basket of Africa /Osama Bin Laden is not a real person but a figment of the CIA disinformation team, made up to give the rest of us another reason to hate ragheads!)

If the overseas companies are not selling any petrol, they will be inclined to reduce their prices. (This doos does not realize that the price – locally – is regulated by his government! There is nothing that the international (or local) petrol companies can do about the price! And is there a subtle difference between “inclined” and “forced”. Methinks I would like to force them to reduce their price!)

If they reduce their prices, the other companies will have to follow suit.
(You think? Why, I would just send all my fuel to the US / UK where they don’t mind paying what they do for fuel, or better still, I’ll take half of my production off stream, reduced my employee count by 70% and force the price to 3 times what it is now!)
But to have an impact we need to reach literally millions of petrol buyers. (Yup, and seeing as there are less than 10 million car owners in this country, we need to include Zimbabwe, Swaziland, Mozambique and Lesotho <>)
It is really simple to do! (Issuing an ID Document in 24 hours is also simple, but you think we can do it? Duh!?! 3 months fuck head!)

Now, don't wimp out at this point...keep reading, and all will be revealed as to how simple it is to reach millions of people.

I am sending this message to 30 people. If each in turn sends it to another 10 people (30 x 10 = 300)...and those 300 send it to at least 10 people 300 x 10 = 3000)
And so on, by the time the message reaches the sixth generation of people; we will have reached over 3 million consumers! (And we will have generated over 3 million spam mails, pissed off2,99 million of them, used up seriously expensive bandwidth and wasted, oh, I don’t know, 3m x 3 minutes – 9m minutes /60 = 150000 hours / 24 = 6250 man days / 265 = 17.12 man years!)

If those 3 million people get exited and pass this on to 10 friends each then 30 million consumers will have been reached. If it goes one level further, you guessed it three hundred million people!
(Oh boy, this is now 171.2 man years – oh for fuck sakes! And to think only 10% of the local population have access to email (at best) that means 4.8 million people will have receiver the email at least 6.25 times each!)
Again, all you have to do is to send this to 10 people. That's all.

How long will all that take? If each of us sends this e-mail out to 10 people within one day of receipt, all 300 million people could conceivably
be contacted within the next 8 days! Acting together we can make a difference.

(I'd have to assume these 300 million people are outside of South Africa! Oh, God, please let them be outside of our borders, otherwise us whites are out numbered by about 65 to 1! As opposed to 10 to 1 as we now believe! And this translated to 1712 man years of wasted effort, or each email friendly person in SA will have received and read this 65 times )
If you're fed up paying too much for petrol, please pass this message on.

COMMENCING NOW DON'T BUY BP /SHELL, go and support SA Brand SASOL, (I'd have to assume, once again, there is a bias here! Or is it just me?)

Our currency and economy will be strengthen by 65% in 18 months the capital will stay in SA. (I'd have to assume there is a financial adviser, of the BEE status involved here. How the fuck can you assume this strengthening of our economy and currency? The only beneficiaries might be SASOL, and their share holders! And by the way – this fucking proudly South African company is raking in massive profits on the basis that they are linked to the current ruling petrol price (as set by the government) but their costs are way lower than those of the companies who make fuel from oil! SO, who’s fucking who right now?)
Africa must stop feeding the world giants it must feed itself.

(For your information, you stupid dumb fuck, Africa is the biggest sponge on the planet! More than 60% of it’s countries are living on hand outs from the Developed Western Countries! More than 70% of it’s population live under the dictatorship style of government – aka Zimbabwe style – Most of the funds derived from the sale of it’s oil, gold and diamonds (in most countries North of out own borders, up to Sub Sahara) go into private accounts held by the despicable bastards running those countries fortunate enough to have the resources. The fucking world will freeze over 6 more times, there will be massive destruction cause by meteorite strikes, and Zimbabwe’s Dollar ill be 0.1 to the US$, and still Africa will not be able to feed the world as you put it. I am willing to put good money on the next fact:-

You are a BEE – fucked up in the head – you owe me mentality – come to work just to draw a salary – embittered chip on the shoulder black African, with nothing better to do than think up this shit – or else you’re a rag head, with not enough balls to don a suicide vest, or hoping to get one in on the west. If neither of these options describes you – you are a pathetic person, with no idea of how economies work, and don’t even begin to understand how supply and demand regulates the market place.!)

Salagatle!