Customer Service

I received an email from my brother which I have to share with you all:-
Thanx Boet!!

The Future of Customer Service

Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your ..."
Customer: "Halloo, can I order?"
Operator : "Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?"
Customer: "It's eh ..., hold on ... 698-45-54610 ..."
Operator : "OK... you're ... Mr Sfiso Majola and you're calling from 17 Retief Str. Your home number is 4094 2366, your office 7645 2302 and your mobile is 082 266 2566. Which number are you calling from now Sir?
Customer: "Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?"
Operator : "We are connected to the system Sir."
Customer: "May I order your Seafood Pizza..."
Operator : "That's not a good idea Sir."
Customer: "How come?"
Operator : "According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir."
Customer: "What?... What do you recommend then?"
Operator : "Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza.You'll like it"
Customer: "How do you know for sure?"
Operator : "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Hokkien Dishes" from the National Library last week Sir."
Customer: "OK I give up ... Give me three family sized ones then, how much will that cost?
Operator : "That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is R149.99
Customer: "Can I pay by credit card?"
Operator : "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you're owing your bank R3720.55 since October last year. That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir."
Customer: "I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives."
Operator : "You can't Sir. Based on the records,you've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today."
Customer: "Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?"
Operator : "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and collect it on your Green Double Cab ..."
Customer: "What!"
Operator : "According to the details in system, you own a Nissan Double
Cab, ... registration number NRB 1123 ..."
Customer: " *'!^ *%^*%^I7*"
Operator : "Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman...
Customer: [Speechless]
Operator : "Is there anything else Sir?"
Customer: "Nothing ... by the way ... aren't you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?"
Operator : "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also diabetic ... "
Customer : "Please cancel the order, my wife will have to cook ..."

Salagatle!

Stay or go.....

I had a good friend around last night for drinks, and a chat. He's a successful businessman, and has the dealership for K'a'rcher in his stable. http://www.shutterlock.co.za/

This is the logo for the product. I'm sure it's copyrighted, and patented and all, and I reproduce it here with all due respect and apologies if so required.

http://www.karcher.de/za/welcome.html

However, he gives it no attention, and in fact wants rid of it. He knows the potential, but is doing so well with his other business, he does not have the time, or inclination, to give this part any of his time.
So, he's offered it to me. The actual details of the deal we still need to work out, but it would mean me becoming self employed, and within 12 - 18 months owning this business / dealership. With no effort from his side, they currently turn over about ZAR1.4m per annum. He has one technician who does repairs etc., and carries about ZAR300k stock (spares and new machines) and has 1 LDV that does collections and deliveries.

I could / would operate from his premises for the first 12 - 18 months, but would then have to move out. I would "rent" office and workshop space, have to have at least 2 telephone lines installed, get computers etc., have to carry insurance, and running costs for the LDV....

I'd have to have a CC registered (I think the one I made dormant 12 years ago may be extinct now)..... It is a daunting prospect, and scares me more than staying put.

So, I'll have a long think, and then a chat with the Princess.... And then we'll see.

Salagatle!

Lest I forget.....

I actually got good service from a service provider late last week. I was shopping around for a new contract for the kids cellphones. Their current provider didn't have a nice / good selection of "free" cellphones. So I emailed several who had contact details online, and got one or two typical responses, ie. Thank you for your enquiry, we will respond in.... Days / weeks / years....
The main problem was that the kids had specific phones in mind, and none of the SP's were willing to provide these for "free"!

One company actually called me within 1 hour of me submitting my email to them. And asked what phones the kids wanted specifically, and somehow managed to put the package together for me, and by midday the next afternoon the contracts, were signed, activated, and I was on my way home with the phones.
Amazing that in this day and age, someone actually still understands customer satisfaction!!!
Well done to

John Fernandes
CDC Team Leader
Smartcom (Pty) Ltd
Reg No: 1999/028557/07
Tel: 011 507 4600
Fax: 086 651 3038
Cell: 082 944 4229
Subsidiary of the Vodacom Group
www.smartcom.co.za


Need a cellphone? Call John. I recommend him!!

Salagatle!

The kids wall unit, cont.

On Saturday, eventually, I bought the last required boards for the kids wall unit. It's for the back of the unit.
I had them precut at the store, (for free) and got them home. The kids were horrified at the prospect of having to varnish these massive boards. So, I pulled out the electric spray gun. I bought this thing in 1988 (it says so on the box) and have never used it. Read the instructions, filled the pot with varnish, added some thinners (to taste hehehe) and sprayed. It was not a total success, as the varnish started to run a bit, but then I quickly spread it around with a paintbrush. Placed outside to wind dry, and then board 2, and then 3.
Bring back in for a second coat, spread with paintbrush, and viola, 3 varnished boards in 30 minutes!!

I must say that once they had dried overnight, they looked damn fine. In fact they have more of a grain finish, and it looks great.

So tonight / tomorrow night we will put them into place, and I'll post a pic of the finished product. Must say we did a good job.
The next project is my bar. Watch this space.

Salagatle!

Witness Khumalo

Some of you who have dear my stuff for some time will recall my attempts to get my gardner a new ID book and pension card, with no success.

Well, on Saturday morning I took a photo of him, and I will be doing a piece which I will send to the Sowetan, the Daily Sun, and the Sunday Times. Hopefully they will run the story. I hope that this way I will elicit some response from the authorities to actually get something done. As long as it's "under the radar" they will quite happily ignore the problem. Once I get it into the public eye, there will be someone who picks up on it and hopefully will assist me in getting this sorted out.
It's disgusting at the very least.
So, anyone want to send me ideas of how to formulate / present this article, any assistance will be reviewed and welcome.

Salagatle!