Spiraling ..... out of control

It's a spiral, but it only goes down!
How's that possible? Makes no sense!
Surely spirals are dual ended?
Surely then I can turn around?

I can't keep going one way
The bottom is too far off
Even if it is rushing
like an oncoming train!

I've got to turn this thing
And go the other way
Cause once you hit the bottom
There's no coming back

My bloggings been getting desperate
It's really all f***ed up
And I don't really think it's helping
Venting it out this way....

Seems that some are getting worried
One reader sent advise
Sez he can "feel" my inner anguish
And sez I need to find some peace........

Addictions.......

Is this bloody BLOGGING addictive!?!?!?
Does anyone read this crap?

So, when is anything addictive?
Anything! We are talking smoking, drinking,
drugs, Coca Cola!
What about watching porn?

If you do something good
like helping out at an old age home
But you feel you need to go every evening
Is it still an addiction?

Or is it only bad things that qualify?
Does this mean you can be addicted to moaning?
Or must there be a financial burden attached?
Who decides?

So you are addicted to work!
Financially probably beneficial
But it costs your health, sanity
could cost you your family
So now it's bad?

Or, must it be destructive?


Right / wrong,
good / bad,
left / right,
up / down,
ying / yang
Does / must everything have an opposite?

The madness in me?

It's the madness in me
It's this place, this space
In time, passing
it's in the head

Is it sanity that
Keeps us here
Away from there
Where we would rather be?

Maybe not! Maybe
I'm the only sane one
The madness is out there
Not in me, out there

The heart beats
But so does my mind
Not musical, no rhythm
Maybe its the madness

Maybe it's in me
Is it time? Passing,
Forgetting, ending?
madness / sanity

Is there any difference?
Who decides?
What is the fine line?
Who knows?

Does anyone care?

Wood or Steel

I sometimes compare of life to woodwork and steelwork. Strange that. My reasoning is such:-You work with steel. Maybe you cut a piece too short. No problem, you weld another piece on, grind it clean, and after a coat of paint no one is the wiser. You work with wood. Maybe you cut a piece too short. No problem. You either shelve it for another job, or toss it. Take a new piece of wood and start again. Basically thats it.

Now, how does this compare to life? Well, I'm not too sure, other than some mistakes you can get away with others you can't. Some things you can fix, others stay broke.
My relationships over time have been mostly wooden. Broken / fixed / broken / fixed....

So what's not repairable? When you fuck up bad in front of your kids? When you let down your mom and dad maybe?
When you make a life changing decision, and live to regret it, but only once it's too late to do anything about it.
Leaving school early, like 2 yrs too early and having to slave away for the rest of time because of it. Yea i know, you can catch up, night classes and all, unless you realise too late.
Yup, I think life is a craft, either wood work, or steel work. And as the craftsman, you get to decide which you use and when.

Salagatle

Update on the boys sporting stuff......

Junior had a fantastic gala last week.
Those of you who follow my posts will remember I sed that I was sending the princess, junior and the queen to Durban, as junior had made the SA Nationals Level 1 age Championships!
Well, he didn't bring home any trophies or medals, but he managed to improve on all of his individual best times. In one race, 200m Free style he cut 12 seconds off, new best 3:08:76!! And in the 200m back he cut 28 seconds, new best 3:20:18!! In the shorter races (50 meters) he took between 1 and 1.5 seconds off his best!
For those of you who don't know, with swimming, first prize might be winning, but a better achievement is if you can keep improving on your previous best. This is an indication that you are slowly improving and creeping up on those who may already have peaked!!!
So, I'm very chuffed. Happy to have them all back at home too. House wasn't in too much of a mess, so the princess wasn't too unhappy, but did find time and reason to complain as we hadn't packed away the ironed stuff! Oh well, "se la vie"!

My other son played cricket on Saturday for his school. Under 15A side.
They played what is normally regarded as their strongest opponents, and this is no crap!Pretoria Boys High are an extremely competitive school. They also have the benefit of being an all boys school and so have a broader talent to choose from. I think they said they have 12 U15 boys teams! Where my sons school only just manages to field 2 teams in this age group!!Anyway, the opponents scored 268 for 8 after 50 overs. A very BIG target. KHS started well, but fell to 125 for 7 after 30 overs. Then my son came on and between him and the number 4 batsman they added 58 runs. He scored 38 off of about 28 balls!
But, as always, he really wanted to his the ball against the score board, and went out caught on the boundary going for the six! Silly really, he could have easily made his 50 in this game.
Anyway, they managed to frustrate the opponents, and batted through their innings. Final score was 190 some thing for 9.....!
PS. South Africa's Proteas beat the crap out of the Aussies on Friday in the 20/20 game, and again last night in the 1 day international.
Go Proteas!!!
Salagatle!!!!

Is it a gene thing?

Is it a gene thing? This way of life?
Is it inbred, taught, learnt?
Is it common, throughout the races?
Is it me, you, us or them?

It's always happening
It's evident everywhere
It knows no boundaries
It does not care

I believe it's in the genes
I believe it to be true
I can see it all around me
Can you?

Corruption in the masses
Corruption at the top
Crime is on the increase
No one trying to stop

We are all affected,
We see the aftermath
It starts with breaking windows
It ends with death

Just this once....

Will I entertain a response based on .....

Racism or objective criticism......

I recently visited the blogg of a new visitor to my site who left a comment on mine. His blogg left me confused as I thought initially he didn't like the current state of affairs, and longed for the pre democtatic state. (My assumption based on his comments). However, on reading his bloggs, I am convinced he is pro ANC / the current state of affairs. No problem here. To each his own. I mentioned to him in a comment that he did leave me confused, I welcomed him to my blogg, and all the rest. His response to me is that he believes me to be "Like my friend from Brisbane", obviously referring to the document I cut and pasted which had been a comment on my blogg, and which I thought deserved front page, if no other reason then to give voice to the opinions of an ex-South African.
I don't believe that I actually agreed with what he had to say, (maybe I didn't disagree either). Does this make me anti-South African? Does that make me a racist?

He states that a typical white South African belief is that Black Africans are unable to do anything, and always need a white person to back them up. Not true, there are some excellent African business men (and women ) out there. There is good service delivery. There is also a big difference between those who are self employed, and those employed, especially at the "Lower end of the food chain". However, being a typical human being (no colour needed) I will always remember the bad and voice my opinion about it.

To my accuser I have this to say:-I am born and bred South African. I am still here, and plan to stay. I don't have to agree with the current government, but do pay my taxes. I am doing my bit to help those in need (typically Africans) who are being screwed by their own people (typically civil servants)! I don't suffer fools, and will not put up with poor / pathetic / unprofessional service. If this makes me non-patriotic, well then so be it.
If you, fellow blogger, do put up with this crap, and don't mind civil servants stealing the old peoples pension money, Africans or otherwise, well then, maybe you understand Africa better than I do. And based on this maybe our future is like Zimbabwe!
However, for as long as I am able, I will stand for what I believe, and resist poor service, from either retail stores, or local government.
I did not want to make a political statement on this blogg, and don't think I care to again, but I had to post this so as to clarify my position.
Nuff Sed
I consider this matter closed.
Salagatle!!